I remember my first few days as a newly diagnosed diabetic. I really only remember a few things actually-- learning how to use a syringe for the first time is embedded in my head for life. It freaked me out to look at one and touching one because I had only associated syringes with drugs (street drugs). So naturally it scared me. I was never afraid of needles, but I was afraid of drugs. Knowing that I had to insert that little silver needle in my stomach or a squishy spot on my body was stressful. I had to do this myself? How do I even get brave enough to "just do it?" Thankfully during this crash course in diabetes I had my Dad. (Just an FYI, I have the BEST Dad in the universe. Yours might be awesome too, but mine is just simply the cats meow.) The nurse handed me a bottle of saline (no need to practice with insulin, didn't want to deal with an overdose!) and a syringe-- she told me to administer the correct dosage. I have to poke myself with this thing? I froze and my Dad grabbed it from me and did it himself. Holy shit! My Dad just took one for the team! He said "If I can do it, so can you!" Well, alrighty then Dad! I mustered up the strength to push that syringe in my stomach. I did it! And you know what? It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I was terrified that this was my new normal, but I'm the type of girl who knows that if it's a necessity than it must be done. I spent the rest of the afternoon learning about insulin dosages, corrections, highs, lows, carbohydrates, checking blood sugars and keeping track of basically every move I made.
Counting carbohydrates (carbs) was a challenge at first. I consider myself a pro now. I can tell you the carbs in most foods without even thinking about it. I am also a pretty good guesser (is that even a word?) about a lot of carbs that don't come with a nutrition label. But the first few days I was totally afraid to eat a single carb. I lived off of vegetables and meat for like a week. When I went back to see the nurse so she could evaluate my progress she was concerned that I wasn't eating quite right. Well, I said, carbs make blood sugars go up! Why on earth would I bother? Then she said it, what most people don't know..."You can eat whatever you want." What? Eat whatever I want? Well, hell, I want a Big Mac! Of coarse, that was frowned upon, but the idea of being able to eat whatever I wanted sounded so amazing! Maybe I will still have that freedom I thought I lost. As long as I was taking the correct amount of insulin to cover the foods I wanted to eat- food was my friend again. Thank goodness because I LOVE food! Of coarse I struggled for a bit, but I sure did get the hang of it in no time. I still struggle, but now I know which foods to stay away from or have in moderation (like pizza) and I am currently trying to figure out the evil carb known as coffee creamer. Still working on that one and taking suggestions.
I'm thankful that I had my Dad, I am also thankful for a pretty good team to help me get through the first few days. Now the hard part...being a teenager and having Type 1 diabetes. How do I explain this to my friends? How do I have a social life and still take care of myself? Nope...it wasn't getting any easier.
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