Never quit quitting

November is Diabetes awareness month.

I thought maybe this would be a good time to try and restart or continue writing my blog.  Never quit quitting right?

I often need to tell myself to never give up.  Keep going.  Tomorrow is a new day.  Don't look back, look ahead.  I've been trying to be a cheerleader to myself for a few weeks now.  I believe I've had a bit of diabetes burnout.  My blood sugars haven't been their best, I haven't been testing as often as I should, I haven't been wearing my CGM and going to the gym? Ha!  I also feel like I have not been an active member of the DOC in months.

With a recent visit to the Endo office a few weeks ago I was recently motivated to get back on track.  I've been testing more and taking a less carb approach when I can.  (I do love carbs, but they don't love me back.) I haven't been inclined to wear my CGM yet, but I feel I may need it soon to attack the pesky highs in the morning.  Alas, the gym part...I've attempted to start going back to our local YMCA and with a fresh new membership and all it should be easy and fun right?  However, I find myself being very frustrated and annoyed.  Yesterday I packed the Gatorade, turned off my insulin pump and had my Annie's organic fruit snacks readily available, my 90's pop music channel on Pandora and I was pumped and set to go!!  I get 30 minutes in on a cardio bike and BAM! Blood glucose 54.  WTH?!  I still feel like I have mad skillz and the energy to finish the 60 minute cardio I pumped myself up for, plus, I hadn't heard any TLC yet!   Just 30 minutes in and it feels like a wasted trip to the gym!  I felt so defeated.  I didn't want to go back...ever.  Why bother?

When I arrived home that evening, after a 20 minute fruit snack party in my car, I vented my frustrations to the DOC.  The feedback was that I did more than I gave myself credit for.  I was there, I did what I could and tomorrow is a new day.  I felt a bit more empowered after that.  There are more people out there in the DOC cheering for me and I owe it to myself and to the DOC to try again tomorrow.  I won't give up.  I will never quit quitting.

Thank you DOC, without you I wouldn't be as strong as I am today, even at my weakest I'm stronger than I was before.